Meddling, ungrateful, dishonest, and surly.
I'm angry
I have been angry a lot this week.
People in my personal life are not respecting my boundaries.
Anger is a useless emotion for me. I never know what to do with it. My usual response is silence and withdrawal.
If I am upset enough, I will typically never speak to the object of my annoyance again. But cutting people off is one of my worst habits, one I am looking to change.
This quote is on a loop in my head:
“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine.” — Marcus Aurelius
It serves as a reminder that people are people. The problem here is me. My communication, enforcement, and reactions.
And when it comes to those who have upset me, I have not reiterated my boundaries with them in a long time. As they have pummeled past what I find acceptable, I have not reinforced where the lines lay. And in reaction to their nonsense, I have burned hot, instead of stopping the problem.
It’s like the time I shouted, running around like a headless chicken when parts of the stove that shouldn’t be on fire, caught on fire. Then my younger brother calmly walks past me to the gas cylinder and cuts off the gas supply, effectively stopping the problem. Lol.
Like my shouting that day, all my anger has done this week is deplete my quality of life and waste energy. Useless and exhausting.
So I created a temporary WhatsApp group chat with the offending entities. And said to them; your actions have upset me this week. These are the things I will not accept. When you do them, this will be the repercussion.
Then I went for a run. Short bursts of exertion help me loosen pent-up energy. I ran, came home, made some sugar wax, and will, in a few minutes, make my friend’s penis - and the surrounding areas - bald.
It’s his first time waxing. And he substantially underestimates how painful it will be. His tears will soothe me.
Habit tracker. Nearly cannot kill a bird though, but progress.
I laughed soo hard😂😂